I'll be honest and say that I haven't considered the English majors championing the CASS Days this year. That's far from saying I've given up on that universal want for CASS students every year at this time, but I just didn't want to say that I didn't expect we would win in the beginning, which is such a disgusting and sometimes hypocritical cliché, though in this case is true. In fact I was suffering a two-day headache from merciless schoolwork and I didn't even realize that it was that time of the year again until the Wednesday came and we  were once again assembled in the CASS grounds in uniform t-shirts, all ready to pounce on all the other departments.

This was the year I cheered the loudest, pulled the hardest at tug-of-war, and joined the quiz show more eagerly than I did before. We abandoned our theses and went everywhere with our team for support and yes, the opportunity to let loose and act like monkeys. With the other ABEO harlots, I yelled like a shameless whore for our volleyball team who, by the way, with all my belief that I was the reason, beat the sap out of all the other teams. At tug-of-war, we weren't satisfied at getting the third place by default and wanted to play some more even if it meant that losing would put us at fourth place. We even made bitching sign boards during the awards night, something we let the ABEO banner do on its own and never bothered doing before. And all the while I kept thinking that for our tireless and competitive (read: pamugas) batch, this was going to be the last time we were going to get to do this with the same crazy people.

With all the bitterness that's been spat in our direction especially by the extra-competitive non-winning team, all I have to say is that, we're only on the other side of the wheel this time. As one acidic text message to Rei said, "The ball is round and justice will prevail". And let me quote whoever sent that message and say, the ball IS round. The victor's spot is sweet, but ironically, be it sooner or later, there's no going from here but down. Someday another team will rob us of this title. And as much as I'd have liked to believe otherwise all those times we were sore for the winning prize, I know that whoever will be champions next time will deserve it fair and square, as we all know everyone else who has previously held the title did. For now, just let us celebrate our victory, and with honor and grace, accept the way the wheel turns.

It was two years ago when I was taught that PolSci majors are supposed to be the English majors' natural nemeses. This annual event showed me how ridiculous we all get over a title that means nothing in the long run. What is CASS Overall Champion, really, once we go outside the Institute's walls? I mean seriously, could you give that to an interviewer and get the job? Even if I avoid all cheesiness with all the ability I can muster, I won't be able to put it any other way but: being champion means nothing but you made a great, united team of people who had an enormously fun time working with each other. I know I had a blast. And in the long run that's what I'll remember.

Get the point?
Jenny, Mymy, Flipt and Cesar with the infamous ABEO banner


ABEO chicks
Mymy, Alpha, BJ, Kimmy, Syrah and Ruby


masaya sa ABEO
Hazel, random girl, Jezreel, Marian, Andrew and Lourd

I've never felt so naked. The fact that I am once again listening to the lectures of one of the coolest, if not the coolest, persons I have met should be inspiring enough for me to be able to produce something more than worth wiping a hobo's ass with. But his greatness leaves us in awe and we tremble, unable to express ourselves, knowing that we will never amount to the dirt in his fingernails, finding being read and critiqued by a born writer of literature unbearable.

I just want to get this over with.

And those were the exact lines in my head this afternoon during the average tiebreaker round at the school quiz show. I think I blurted out every curse word in Cebuano that I know during those agonizing minutes.

Friends, suspense almost killed me!

Congratulations to fellow quizzers for worming our way through to the finals. To Ken and Kim (though they won't really get to read this), I love you guys.

Jidai CSM :P :P

Drained.
(Ms. Nerves, Kim born to join GKNB, Jedi Pythagoras, and Ken Jolie)

As I was rinsing off a pair of pants this morning, I saw clumps of white pulp which used to be a crumpled piece of trash, falling along with the water from one of the pockets (because as Stewie called Brian from an episode of Family Guy, I'm the environment's bitch), and contained my laughter in a smile of amusement. This morning I woke up with plans to just stay in bed and read, but in a second of impulsiveness I pulled out all the clothes from the hangers in my closet, changed my sheets and pillow cases, and marched off to do the laundry.

Nothing has been going as planned ever since I got here and it causes a neurotic a whole lot of stress and moments close to breakdown. I would like nothing more than to stick with my priorities and not give in to fears of disappointing people. And so I must fight for my freedom to be alone with my thoughts, without imposed duties trespassing the territory that is my mind. And I will do it because I do not want to live the following months with a wrinkle between my brows. The thought petrifies me.

This noon, I had lunch with friends. Nothing cures fatigue better than being surrounded by people you can joke and be a total ass around with.

This is a really neat tag from Mars which encourages my always being nostalgic for home and my family (though I answered a bit later than I normally do memes).

me in my cute red shoes, with Mommy and Pai, in our old flat,
I was probably two or three

Dandy and me with Daddy,
at school after yet another speech fest

siblings are we, Dandy being introduced to the mic

I didn’t really have a particular “moment” in life, as I’m always the happiest in the world when something great turns up, but rummaging through old photos made me decide that my photos of my childhood would make a satisfactory (I’ve been reading Agatha Christie, sorry) answer to this tag.

I had a great childhood.  My parents, and I emphasize both of them, were always there. And my brothers have always been one of my best friends, if not the best, or really probably the only ones left when everybody realizes I’m not worth spit. Okay I didn’t really mean to sound the way I did there, but what I mean is, here’s to those days of bathing in sudden summer afternoon showers and Ghost Fighter at 6:00 pm on IBC 13 with hot Milo and bread.

I value myself so much more now. Not only skill-wise but also common sense-wise. I do have common sense. It dwelled somewhere there in the chambers of my head waiting for an opportunity. So yeah I'll be clumsy forever, but I'll be able to find my way in an unfamiliar place by myself. I know there will be people who will say "You haven't been to Quiapo" or something like that, but now I can say, "Bring it on."

I was so totally wrong about Manila, and so totally wrong about myself. Even if we kept getting reminded of being careful of weasels every time we went out on an assignment, which I gratefully know comes out of concern, we turned out fine each time. People are helpful, or try to help, and aside from crabby cab drivers and cramped MRT rides at certain times of the day, and the ever disappointing turtle's pace of certain government agencies at processing requests for info, there wasn't anything that we couldn't seem to handle. In fact the toughest part of the stay was the internship itself.

Until now it still amazes me that the Newsbreak staff sent us out to cover nationally significant events in their place. Whenever we arrived at a certain forum or press con, it seemed as though all the media people knew each other and that you, who seemed to be the only intern, would shrink into unimportance. But those were the moments that made us develop a second layer of tougher skin. And Miss Carmela, one of the writers and one of the smartest ladies I've met, was right. That's the only way to learn the craft, not by being asked to tag along with them as though they're babysitting us.

Those journalists are incredible. No amount of cynicism can keep them from documenting the country's history and relaying the truth to our countrymen. It's a thankless job, and as Miss Lala (I'm a fan) said, it requires all sorts of investment, emotional, financial, everything.

This is yet another experience that has gotten me carefully thinking of the future and what I'm gonna be in it. I sincerely hope that there will be other fortunate youth who will get the opportunity that I've had.